We all know that children need quality time with their parents. They need our time and attention to feel loved, to feel valued… the list goes on. This list of needs still applies when your child becomes a teenager.
With our teens growing maturity, comes an additional need for quality time with us. I call it the need for Soul Talks. They really need to talk about deeper issues with us~ soul issues. They not only are learning how to navigate the many relationships of life in new ways, they are also learning to navigate the morals that come with those relationships. They need some moments with us to pour out their struggles, their feelings, and the happenings of life. They need to experience these moments without lectures, without lessons, without being told how to respond. They just need a wise, loving ear to listen.
They also need to hear from us. In these moments of sharing, I think it's wise to share our hearts with them as well. Why should they pour out their hearts when the sharing is a one-way street? I think it's good for them to hear about our relationship with God, the things that we pray for in our quiet moments, bits of our struggles and feelings. (I'm not saying we need to share everything with them. Boundaries and some parental privacy are also good.) I am constantly reminding myself to be more intentional in this area.
Most importantly, making time for soul talks with our teens can go a long way toward a healthy relationship with our teen and set the stage for our adult relationship with them.
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How do you make time for soul talks with your teen? Do you have a special routine?
{I apologize for the delay of this post. Illness prevented me from finishing it to go up on time. Since it is part of the 31 Days series, I am post-dating it to the date it was intended to publish. If you're reading this from a feed, I apologize for the multiple posts today.}
Come back for more on parenting teens tomorrow. Better yet, get it in your inbox so you won't miss a day! I'd also like to invite you to join the conversation at The Daisyhead on Facebook. I'd love to meet you!
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One thing I have found it that most of my teens are suspicious of planned "talks". They respond better to the ones that just happen. Two of the best times for our family are in the car (this becomes more rare when they start driving themselves most places – a mixed blessing!) and when they wander into the living room when I am on the computer. I think the casual, "she's mot really entirely focused on me" atmosphere makes them more willing to talk. Of course, since their bodies are usually on a different schedule than mine, it often means staying up later than I want – but it's really worth it!