{Okay, so over the weekend I managed to fall behind on 31 Days posts. Over the next few days the day number won't match the publish date, but I will still bring you all 31 posts about parenting teens. I have had such a good time writing on this subject~ and I hope it has helped you!}
Have you ever asked your teen a question like, "What do you think of what we just read?" only to hear, "I dunno"? Frustrating, isn't it? Surely he thinks something.
Sometimes teens have trouble expressing themselves. There is a lot floating around in their heads. We just have to help them figure out how to get it out. Other times, they have no problem with getting the thoughts out. In fact, they may be just spilling thoughts and feelings everywhere. In that case, we may need to help them learn to organize their thoughts in order to communicate them better.
Communicating well could be the difference between earning a living and changing lives. If he has a world changing idea but cannot explain it well, then no one is likely to come alongside him to bring the dream to fruition. But this skill does not come easily to everyone. Sometimes it takes a lot of practice.
Teens can practice expressing their thoughts and opinions in many ways:
- Writing many different styles of papers, from opinion papers to research papers.
- Giving oral presentations– speeches, presenting a project, or formal debates.
- Teaching– a younger group of children at a homeschool co-op, teaching a Sunday school class at church, or teach a skill to a group of friends.
- Keeping a personal journal.
- Poetry writing or song writing.
Helping our teens learn to accurately communicate does not have to be difficult. Much of the time they just need feedback from us so they know whether the message came across the way they intended it. This can often happen in conversation; it doesn't have to be a formal part of our curriculum. Our favorite way to practice is over supper in the evenings. Since my children were young, we made it a practice to tell Daddy what they learned that day. It has remained a wonderful way to practice good communication.
I will say that this is an area that I am often tempted to give up on with my teens. I am such a black and white thinker, and I have children that do not always verbalize what is happening in their minds. There are days that I want to just let them figure it out someday. But I know that is not what God has for us. I know that He made me their momma to teach them, and they will need to be able to express themselves in order to be successful at whatever God lays before them. So I must press on.
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Do your teens have trouble expressing themselves? Or am I the only one who deals with this issue?
Come back for more on parenting teens tomorrow. Better yet, get it in your inbox so you won't miss a day! I'd also like to invite you to join the conversation at The Daisyhead on Facebook. I'd love to meet you!
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We also need to remember that God made each of our children unique. Some are more internal processors. They think about it, work through the subject, and what finally comes out is the final product. Others talk and talk and process verbally before they come to a conclusion.
For children with a lot of trouble communicating, other forms of expression, like art or movement, may need to be used first, before they can verbalize their thoughts.
I absolutely agree, Marilyn! In fact, some of my children need to mull and think and process before they can verbalize their thoughts. A variety of things have helped them process~ listening to music, drawing, playing a physical game outside, etc.
Thanks for adding to the mix!