Yesterday we talked about the need for teens to learn to express themselves. Sometimes they are reluctant to communicate what they think and feel, while other times they spew thoughts and feelings in a messy mass.
 

As our teens are branching out and learning to express themselves well, we will also find them desiring to express who they are.  It naturally happens that teens begin to explore their own individuality. This type of self-expression has daunted parents for decades, from hippies to rebels to yuppies.
 

Teens need to explore who they are, what they like, how they want to look, how they want to live. As parents we need to figure out how much room we are comfortable giving them. Are we comfortable with letting them listen to a much different style of music than we normally fill our home with? Are we comfortable letting them try a much different style of clothing? Are we comfortable with the style of art they create?

 

 

These boundaries are different for every family, but the end result is the same. It's important for our teens to have some freedom in self-expression. You may not feel comfortable with blue hair, but you can find a compromise with your teen. They really need to be allowed to try on different personas. They need to know that we see and appreciate their uniqueness.
 

I, personally, am fine with whatever personality my children decide to try on. My own mother always let me try out whatever style I felt drawn to. In high school, I dressed like a cross between Cyndi Lauper and Madonna, with a little Connie mixed in. I had the sides of my head shaved. (Yes, it was the '80s.) For a while, everyone said I dressed like Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink. (My fashion designer, make-my-own-clothes phase). I even had a flat top during my sophomore year~ only 1 inch long on top. My mom let me have the freedom to express myself.  Plus, she was the one who always cut my hair~ and shaved it. (So kudos to you, Mom!)
 

I loved being able to feel that I could always look how I wanted~ and be who I really was. I want my children to have that same freedom. As long as they are modest and have a respectful attitude, I figure it's not hurting anything for them to have freedom in their self-expression. I know their hearts. I know that they love Jesus. So what do I have to fear?
 

For me, it would be a greater fear to tell them they must dress (or express through art, music, etc.) in a certain way, only to feel that I had always stifled them. I have seen too many teens feel this way at home and run far away from their parents ideals when they left home~ never to return.
 

I never want my children to feel that I don't appreciate their unique expression of who they are~ down deep.

 

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How have you handled letting your teen have freedom in self-expression? Does the thought of blue hair freak you out?
 

Come back for more on parenting teens tomorrow. Better yet, get it in your inbox so you won't miss a day! I'd also like to invite you to join the conversation at The Daisyhead on Facebook. I'd love to meet you!
 

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